papparazzi

I used to want to be famous SO BADLY.

& by "used to", I mean June.

I was actually convinced I was going to do it, too. My friend & I were going to be famous via our online talk show thing. We had recording schedules and themes...we were excited. We constantly talked about how fun the papz were going to be, where we were going to live and who we'd date. I kind of always knew she wasn't going to follow through, but it was my life. I was going to be like Princess Diana & volunteer at awesome places and make people pay attention to the charities that need it. I was going to be the next Princess Di. Alas, I don't think I'm the only one yearning for fame. Even subconciously, I think the entire generation is looking for admiration. Through Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter - especially Twitter - everyone is trying to be important. With MySpace, it was all about the amount of friends one could aquire. Popularity was the end-all be-all. Facebook and Twitter are outlets to pour out one's every move and thought. They allow every individual to be their own papparazzi, in hopes someone else cares that they are "having coffee before heading off to work!!" I don't know when or why our lives became so inferior, but its a sad state to live in.

I don't think I want to be famous anymore. I could undoubtly handle it, but I don't think I'd enjoy it. I feel like you lose a part of your soul in the sickening process. There seems to be no joy in it anymore. With all the publicity being done - either through allegedy relationship between costars to amp up ticket sales, to interviews with people that don't even know your name - and all the papparazzi stalking the celebrity's every move, it's a morbid field. It's decieving, confusing, biased and neverending. I don't care what type of coffee Mary Kate is drinking. I don't want other people to care what type of drink I'M drinking. I know many of the current celebrities didn't force their fame nor the effect it has on others, but I don't want other people to feel like my life is more important than theirs. I don't want anyone to feel that way about anyone else.

Fame is a slutty whore and I am embarassed.